Parents who are going through a divorce have a lot to think about. While matters like property division are important, the child custody agreement is just as crucial. It’s best to try to come up with the terms of a parenting plan as quickly as possible so the kids can have the stability they need.
While you’re going through the divorce, you need to remember not to make these parenting mistakes. Starting your new way of life off on the right foot can help everyone with the adjustment.
#1: Never pass messages through the kids
Your kids should never be asked to pass messages between parents. It’s always best to communicate directly with your ex so the chance of miscommunication is minimal.
#2: Never use the children as spies
What happens at your ex’s house doesn’t matter to you now unless it has a negative impact on the children’s health or safety. Never try to use your children to spy on your ex. While it’s acceptable to ask them how their time was with the other parent and what they did, this should only be done as a way to support your child’s relationship with the other parent.
#3: Never use the kids as negotiating tools
The kids should never be used as bargaining tools for you to get your way. What happens with the children should always be based on what they need. During property division, the focus should be on working out an equitable split, but child custody shouldn’t be part of this equation.
#4: Never belittle your ex
Your ex is still your child’s other parent, so you shouldn’t disparage them. If you need to vent, choose another adult to vent to. Don’t ever say bad things about your ex in front of the kids or to anyone who might tell the kids what you say.
#5: Never put your interests first
Always do what’s best for your children. Their health, safety and ability to thrive must come first.
Make sure you have a parenting plan in place that meets the children’s needs right now. As their needs change, you can modify the plan. Some parenting plans require creativity. Working with someone who can assist you with this could help to make the situation much easier.